Thursday, 29 July 2010

Finally crossed swords.

His defense is as usual; lousy.
Going round and round about the same point that makes no sense.
Yet didn't want to stop to let others speak their point.

In order to make myself heard, i raised my voice.

It was obvious that he was trying to set me up.
I was careless to have gave him the chance to get back at me.
When questioned why didn't he inform on what he had noticed long ago, all he could gather was the irritating "ahhhhhhhhhh".
Other than this, he could muster Nothing.

He must be so upset and angry at me for taking over his main tasks.
Sorry but, it was the boss's idea.
A tiny admin like me can actually take over 100% of a Manager's job.
Is it due to his incompetency or am I too competent, i wonder.

Boss said I will get promoted if I do well, so I hung on. It's gonna be a 1K jump in salary if I am promoted. That's my target and motivation for this fiscal year.
Struggling not to struggle & Keeping my head above the water for as long as I can.

What happened today will not break me, I was actually glad that I burst and broke down right before you. So that you know how stressful it was to work with you. Tears rolled down because I felt so wronged and unjustified, not because you are hard to please. It was because that your stupidity, conservative mindset and incompetence were driving me up the wall. Not only me, the whole team was annoyed and frustrated at you. I hope you realised it today.

Over the months, I have improved very much on my EQ to survive this corporate world because of you. Because of your incompetence and lack of intelligence, I get to learn more things because you are not reliable. Thanks. I'm such a better person now.

From tomorrow onwards, you will see a stronger side of Ant.

Trust me, I will earn myself so much credit that I can kick you out of my sight with a just a flick!

Composed at 11:37 pm | link |


Sunday, 25 July 2010

Stumbled upon Stephanie Sun's blog and saw this sharing from her, i thought it was worth a read because it set me thinking and reflected upon my past 'determined' actions.

A tad long here but bear with it because it is definitely worth your time to read and my time to post this up. =)

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Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony.

This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.
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I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.


What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.


The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.


I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.


The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.


Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

Composed at 9:41 pm | link |


Friday, 23 July 2010

I love the feeling of being able to do anything I like at any time! of cos, it suxs to do things that you don't like! For example following the instructions of someone you have no respect for at work and especially the instruction is a stupid one. Duh!

Anyway, we felt like going away to somewhere cold with an avenue to cure the itch on our fingers lah. haha! Genting Again!!! an Impromptu decision again! Tickets and Rooms booked, waiting to strike jackpot nia~ lalalalala!

The ultimate impromptu i wana do is to just bring a passport to the airport, buy the next available flight's tickets and fly there for a short vacation when i feel like it. Cool~
Will be looking forward to the day i do this man~

Anyway, 大姑 is coming back in August from HK and i am wondering if i should grab a ticket and return to HK with her in Sep for a short holiday. She should be returning to Taiwan too... Hmmm... Shall decide again when bonus's payout announcement is made. heh heh!

Will need to make plans for BKK trip in August too... wooot... i love going on trips!!!

Composed at 10:38 am | link |


Friday, 9 July 2010

My favourite Hokkien song by 黄乙玲 is 爱到才知痛 and it is so true right? You don’t know what ‘heart pain’ is until you got your heart broken by someone you love. Yesterday, there was a sudden urge that motivates me to study uber hard for the modules that I am retaking for. Why? Because I have to pay $1,600 out of my own pocket!!! Heart pain heart pain heart pain pain!!! My dream wallet, GONE. My Taiwan trip, GONE. My big big birthday present to myself, GONE GONE GONE! Argh! Fail 了才知痛! Joann See, you or-bi-good!

I didn’t feel as painful when I did the payment previously because it was all co-shared with the company. Now, it is fcking painful lah. Paying an EXTRA of 1.6k out of my own pocket is gonna be a good lesson learnt; Lazy and not attending lessons, busy playing and not revising homework. This time, I’m NOT going to repeat the same mistake and I will make sure I do well to compensate the Fail B and Fail C grade (heng not Fail A grade lei, if not so ai wan for that few marks to pass!) I scored! Hrmpf!

Nihongo lesson coming to an end soon, end of term exam coming this Wednesday and then I will move on to Intermediate 4 which is the end of course for intermediate level. Intermediate 4 will end in September and then I shall concentrate fully on my Stax and FA after that. Stax and FA’s exam are schedule in November and I will then go for my JLPT exam in December. Luckily, the company is sponsoring my Nihongo course fully! Heh heh.

司楚音, 加油加油再加油!!! 頑張ってください!

Composed at 11:36 am | link |


Sunday, 4 July 2010

Went for a short getaway trip with darling last weekend and it was awesome!

Attended farewell party the night before and left at 4am. As we had a 9am ferry to catch and ticket had to be collected before 8am, we decided not to sleep. Fought the ZzzzZzz-monster till the ferry departed Harbour Front. Along the journey to Batam, we met a few interesting people; namely 'atas', 'hen duo ren', 'hao peng you' and 'neighbour'. Actually, we didn't speak to any of these characters mentioned. haha. Long story short, We were just too bitchy lah.

This was my second time to KTM resort. The room wasn't a WOW factor but this wasn't the main concern. The motive to visit KTM was for the awesome Spa session. Fantastic masseuse, great sea view while doing massage and relaxing atmosphere at less than $150 with breakfast, lunch and ferry tickets included. Weekend and June Holiday charge were included too!
Now, i am planning when to go again! Maybe a StarCruise soon!


The beautiful sea-view spa rooms!

A&W is always a must!

Yay!

Budget Dinner!




Composed at 2:55 am | link |


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My Kind of Escapade.

An avenue to vent my frustrations, to pour out my sorrows, to share my joy and also to track my happy life.
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